Answer
Correct comma splice, Correct Fragment, Vary sentence types
Step-by-step explanation:
From the question given, on how to improve this message i will use the following methods which are
- Correct comma splice
- Correct Fragments
- Vary sentence types
Comma splice: It is two independent clauses are put together incorrectly by a comma to make a sentence. To avoid this problem, an independent clause. must first be identified.
Correct fragments: A fragments can be used correctly on two ways,
one is including the main clause in a passage, secondly Whether adding or connecting, you must use the right punctuation connecting the fragment to a main clause already in the passage.
Vary sentence types: when you can combine more ideas to develop more complex sentences, when you noticed too many short sentences.