Question

Revise this paragraph from the essay on vegetarianism, which focuses on one of the claim's supporting reasons. As you revise the paragraph, focus on:

making sure the point of the paragraph is precise and related to the overall claim in the essay,
using words, phrases, and clauses to link major ideas in the paragraph,
organizing ideas in a logical way,
stating and addressing a counterclaim,
maintaining a formal style and objective tone, and
correcting MLA citation errors.
Underline any portions of the original paragraph that you include in your version of the paragraph.
Paragraph to be revised:

Essay claim: Vegetarianism is the healthiest lifestyle available.

Vegetarians get all of the nutrients they need by eating a variety of foods. There are tons of foods they can eat. In fact, there are more foods vegetarians can eat (fruits, vegetables, grains) than those they can't eat (animal products). According to Marco Alvez on page 45 of Vegetarianism for Everyone, "non-animal foods are the only building blocks human beings need to maintain proper health. Naturally occurring food items are rich in vitamins, minerals, and other essential nutrients." Tim Over, a nutritionist and someone who really likes and fights for vegetarianism, has found that people who avoid meat in their diets are actually much less likely to become seriously ill than those who regularly eat meat (page 66 of Tim Over's book). Vegetarians are really healthy. A researcher says that vegetarians aren't healthy because they can't get enough protein in their diets (Evans, page 22 in No More Vegetarians). That statement is pure craziness! Of course, vegetarians eat protein (beans, tofu, protein-rich grains), just not meat protein. (30 points + Brain)

Answer 1

Beans, peas, processed soy products, nuts, and seeds are good sources of protein for vegetarians.

Step-by-step explanation:

Sample Response

Answer 2

Vegetarians meet the nutrient requirements from eating from a variety of foods within different food groups (fruits, vegetables, grains, proteins). Although, No More Vegetarians claims vegetarians are not healthy because they do not meet protein requirements (Evans 22). Contrary to this book, vegetarians get adequate levels of protein through beans, tofu, legumes, and protein-rich grains. Furthermore, Tim Over, a nutritionist, has found that people who rarely consume meat in their diets are much less likely to become sick than those who regularly eat meat (Tim Over 66). For, plant foods are a reliable source of energy that the human body relies on to maintain proper health (Vegetarianism for Everyone 45). It is a well-known belief inside the nutrition field that vegetarianism is sustainable whilst being healthy.