Question

Review your draft for pacing and sentence variety. Choose one sentence to revise either the pacing or sentence structure. In the space provided, list your original sentence, the revision, and an explanation of why you chose to revise that sentence. (Please put exact answer from Edmentum or Plato)

Narrative:
Rochelle sipped on her third mug of French roast with a twist of hazelnut as she waited for Marigold. She remembered that Marigold was always on time. So where was she? Rochelle picked up the yearbook that she had brought with her. Marigold, a girl with flaming red hair and large hazel eyes, was standing next to her in the photo. Even then, Marigold was a bit of a mystery to Rochelle.

Rochelle was lost in thought when someone tapped her on her shoulder. She was surprised to find that the hand belonged to a police officer. He asked her if she knew Marigold. When Rochelle said yes, he handed her a package wrapped in paper. Rochelle was confused and scared. Was something wrong with her friend? "Is she okay? I just spoke to her," Rochelle whispered.

"I’m her brother," said the officer. That’s when Rochelle noticed the same hazel eyes. "She sent something special for you."

"But where is Marigold?" cried Rochelle. The man calmed her and asked her to open the package. Rochelle unwrapped it. Inside was an envelope containing an airplane ticket to Barcelona and a note.

Rochelle didn’t know what to do. The officer smiled, turned around, and left. Rochelle read Marigold’s note and smiled. Rochelle remembered the day both of them had planned to go to Spain. The girl with the hazel eyes was making that dream come true.

Answer 1

The guy above me is right ^^^^^

Answer 2

Here's my help. :)

Step-by-step explanation:

Original sentence: She was surprised to find that the hand belonged to a police officer.

Revision: She was shocked to find that the cold hand had belonged to a tall police officer dressed in black, gray, and blue.

Why I chose this one: I chose this one because it didn't have enough detail in it.