Question

Can someone please check my essay

I got 16 out of 20 and I’m not sure what’s wrong with my essay


“
Do you have a real friend?
    Friendship is the purest type of relationship in my opinion, but it’s not easy to find a real friend.  Real friends will pick you up when you’re down, and will always look after you. On the other hand, fake friends will never have your back and will leave you eventually.

    Some people think they need friends to survive, but I don’t agree at all, in fact being a loner can be a great thing. Coming from the ultimate loner, you have all the time to yourself, you can work on your goals without other people distracting you. You don’t need to fit in, or to be accepted by others, and you can be your true self. People may think you’re weird, but think about it, being an outcast is pretty cool.
 
    I’ve spent my high school years in my room, playing video games, and cuddling with my cat. I won’t lie to you, at times I did feel lonely, but at least I was enjoying my time, and I had so much time to read and learn new stuff. Although don’t get me wrong, having friends is not a bad thing, but it’s not as important as you may think. When you have friends, you can talk and open up about your struggles, and they can be there to help and support you. Also, you will be better at communicating and showing emotions.
 
    In the end, be careful who you trust, always remember “people change, even Satan used to be an angel - NF”. if you have a friend that you can trust and know for sure they will always have your back, you’re lucky. Don’t ever give up on them, it’s hard to find real friends. If you don’t, don’t worry, you can always adopt a cat.
 
 “

Answer 1

1. Don't use short forms: for example change your you're to you are.

2. In the last paragraph's 1st sentence, if it is a quotation, then make its first word capital, and put a comma after remember.

3. In last paragraph's 2nd sentence, change your if to If.

Answer 2

what's the prompt asking for? if the prompt is "do you have a real friend?" then you didn't really answer the question. I mean you talked about being a loner in high school, but never did you mention if you have a real friend yourself.

Also you kind of contradict yourself. In the third paragraph, you say being a loner is ok, but not having friends isn't as bad as you think. But in the next sentence, you start talking about how great your social emotional skills would be if you have friends.