Answer:
Topic sentence: A mentor that has helped me in my life was my grandfather.
Concrete detail: He is a Military veteran who served in the Vietnam War with many badges and accomplishments under his belt.
Commentary: My grandfather has taught me how to be strong and courageous in tough times.
Commentary: I think that he is one of the bravest people that I have ever met.
Concrete detail: When I asked him about his service in the war, he said to me, "Being brave is not about being fearless. When I first experience those bombs and explosions going off, I was ready to pee my pants and bolt. But I didn't, I persevered for my country and my family so that you and other generations could live in a peaceful America."
Commentary: Outside of being a war vet, my grandfather still has time to teach me how to fish and play baseball.
Commentary: I definitely inherited my love of sports and 70's music from him, and I enjoy these mutual hobbies with him every few weeks when I got to visit.
Concluding sentence: I truly believe that my grandfather is a great mentor that has taught me many skills in life. His experiences and advice helped shape me into the character that I am today.
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Topic sentence: A mentor that has helped me in my life is Jennifer Lopez.
Concrete detail: J-Lo is a music and dance sensation with many hit singles and dance numbers decorating her resume. She even performed at the president's inauguration.
Commentary: I personally love Jennifer Lopez's sense of style and boldness.
Commentary: She always stays true to her character and carries herself like royalty. Her mannerisms inspire me to shake my inhibitions and be more confident in who I am.
Concrete detail: Jennifer Lopez has worked with other artists in t.v shows, songs, and movies and she takes good care of herself.
Commentary: I want to be able to collaborate with others successfully, just like she has. Good personal connections are very important in life.
Commentary: J-Lo also inspires me to take better care of myself and I hope to have silky smooth skin like her even when I'm 50 and ageing.
Concluding sentence: Even though I have never met her personally, I idolize Jennifer Lopez and I think that she is a good role model for girls who need and example of how to carry themselves around others.