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Rewrite the short story so that it is more descriptive
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41 votes
41 votes
Rewrite the short story so that it is more descriptive

Rewrite the short story so that it is more descriptive-example-1
User Edo
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10 votes
10 votes
Elise painted almost daily, and used a variety of different paints in order to win the community art contest. Elise’s sister Cecily made fun of Elise and joked that she would fail the contest. Elise was furious at her sister.
User Deafjeff
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2.7k points
7 votes
7 votes
I attempted an example, hopefully it works.

Example:

Elise frequently painted a lot and used a variety of different paints so that she could win the community art contest. Her sister, Cecily, would often tease her and make Elise question that she might not win the contest. Elise got distressed with Cecily.
User Robert Zahm
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