477,160 views
13 votes
13 votes
Pls help me correct my punctuations if i have one and can you correct my run- on sentences because my techer said i have run-on sentences. and can you make it a little better and realistic and fun easy to read but dont change the subject of the story just make the words a litte better than mine.

ESSAY: I was running and running to catch a butterfly it was really small and kinda fast i was running running my heart was beating so fast and my legs keeps getting weaker and weaker trying to catch the butterfly Then I realize I got lost in the woods by catching the butterfly. i am in the woods because I and my family went on a trip to the woods just relax and have fun the time I got lost was in noon time so it's not that dark in the woods but still creepy. Just then I saw something in the bush it rustle and moved, I was too afraid to check what it was or to even go near it. My heart was pounding really hard that I can't move and I was getting kinda light-headed. Then it came out as a rabbit, and I was relieved it was just a rabbit it could have been worse. Then I notice that the rabbit was no ordinary rabbit it was the Silver Fox Rabbit. I knew it because of its fur I was mostly black had some whitish-gray on it I read books about rare rabbits, and I knew it was a rare type of breed rabbit. it's almost getting late, what I am supposed to do I am so scared. Scary birds are chirping creepily and bugs on the floor are annoying änts are my thes are annoying me I can't stand them anymore. I was crying and crying then I heard a familier of voices echoing into the woods first I thought it was just my or my imagination my parents. Soon of folowing their voices I found them. my face uncontrollably and then started crying like a baby happy to see them again. I was so happy to see my parents again i think they have forgotten about me and left without looking for me but I was wrong. They were really angry at me though when they find out that I got lost in the woods without saying anything. My parents said that don't you be wandering off into the woods without our permission maybe there is something bad that can happen to you there, you could have gotten hurt there. were not hurt there. were not gonna know that you got hurt because you in the woods so don't be wandering off without one of us is supervising you Now that I found my way back I was so happy and relieved. Now were . preparing our stuff to go back home we put our stuff in the back of the car but we put the little stuff inside the car because all of our stuff is not gonna fit in the back of the car so use did that when we were done packing up we went inside the car , my dad was driving our car while my mom stays at the in the front seat while i was in the back seat. I was telling them that i found a rabbit and told them about how creepy the woods is while being alone and told them about the bugs are annoying.​

User Balz Guenat
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3.0k points

1 Answer

9 votes
9 votes

Answer:I was running and running to catch a butterfly that was really small and kinda fast. I was running and running, my heart was racing, and my legs were getting weaker and weaker as I tried to catch the butterfly. Then I realize I got lost in the woods while attempting to catch the butterfly. I'm in the woods because my family and I went there to relax and have fun. The time I got lost was around noon, so it's not that dark in the woods, but it's still creepy. Just then, I noticed something rustling and moving in the bush, but I was too afraid to investigate or even approach it. My heart was racing.I was sweating so much that I couldn't move and I was feeling a little light-headed. Then it turned out to be a rabbit, and I was relieved because it could have been worse. Then I realized the rabbit wasn't just any ordinary rabbit; it was the Silver Fox Rabbit. I recognized it because of its fur, which was mostly black with some whitish-gray on it. I had read books about rare rabbits and knew it was a rare breed of rabbit. It's almost late, and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do. Scary birds chirp creepily, and bugs on the floor annoy me to the point where I can't stand them any longer. I was sweating so much that I couldn't move and I was feeling a little light-headed. Then it turned out to be a rabbit, and I was relieved because it could have been worse. Then I realized the rabbit wasn't just any ordinary rabbit; it was the Silver Fox Rabbit. I recognized it because of its fur, which was mostly black with some whitish-gray on it. I had read books about rare rabbits and knew it was a rare breed of rabbit. It's almost late, and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do. Scary birds chirp creepily, and bugs on the floor annoy me to the point where I can't stand them any longer. I couldn't stop crying.Then I heard familiar voices echoing into the woods, and at first I thought it was just my imagination or my parents'. I soon found them after following their voices. My face shook uncontrollably, and I burst into tears like a baby, relieved to see them again. I was so relieved to see my parents again that I assumed they had forgotten about me and had left without looking for me, but I was mistaken. They were furious when they discovered I had gotten lost in the woods without saying anything. My parents warned me not to go wandering off into the woods without our permission because something bad could happen to you there and you could get hurt.There was no harm done there. We won't know if you get hurt because you're in the woods, so don't go off without one of us supervising you. I was overjoyed and relieved to have found my way back. We were now. When we were packing up to go back home, we put our stuff in the back of the car but put the small items inside the car because all of our stuff would not fit in the back of the car, so we did that. When we were finished packing up, we went inside the car, my dad was driving our car, my mom was in the front seat, and I was in the back seat. I used to betelling them I found a rabbit, telling them how creepy the woods are when you're alone, and telling them the bugs are annoying ​

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User Vladernn
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3.0k points