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Why is Brian unsure of whether or not he likes the change he feels, holding the rifle or the lighter?

(Chapter 19 help there due at 5:00 PM and it’s 3:00 PM right now)

User Rossen
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He felt like a completely new person and what he was holding could change him, change his future. It was his current reality but so different from the rest of his life, he liked being self sufficient but it was also somewhat scary because it was so new
User Harish Kayarohanam
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