174k views
1 vote
Which revision improves the professional tone of the text?

Read the excerpt from a report.
(1) Cleaning up the existing garbage in the ocean would begin to address the issue of climate change. (2) A company called the Ocean Cleanup Project has successfully developed a self-contained system that collects ocean garbage. (3) It uses the natural forces of the ocean to dump floating plastic. (4) The system consists of a thing, which holds a ten-foot screen below and catches the waste. (5) It would be awesome to have a bunch of these systems removing garbage.
A) Change sentence 1 to: Cleaning up garbage in the ocean would be way better for the environment.
B) Change sentence 2 to: A company called the Ocean Cleanup Project has cleaned up a ton of ocean garbage.
C) Change sentence 4 to: The system consists of a big screen below it that catches the stuff.
D) Change sentence 5 to: Implementing several of these systems could remove garbage from the oceans.

User Yabin Ya
by
8.4k points

1 Answer

6 votes

Final answer:

The most effective revision that improves the professional tone of the text is option D: Change sentence 5 to: Implementing several of these systems could remove garbage from the oceans.

Step-by-step explanation:

The most effective revision that improves the professional tone of the text is option D: Change sentence 5 to: Implementing several of these systems could remove garbage from the oceans. This revision removes the casual and informal language in the original sentence and replaces it with a more formal and professional tone. It also provides a clear and concise statement about the potential impact of implementing multiple systems to remove garbage from the oceans.

User DLauer
by
9.0k points
Welcome to QAmmunity.org, where you can ask questions and receive answers from other members of our community.