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Which revision improves the professional tone of the text?

Read the excerpt from a report.
(1) Cleaning up the existing garbage in the ocean would begin to address the issue of climate change. (2) A company called the Ocean Cleanup Project has successfully developed a self-contained system that collects ocean garbage. (3) It uses the natural forces of the ocean to dump floating plastic. (4) The system consists of a thing, which holds a ten-foot screen below and catches the waste. (5) It would be awesome to have a bunch of these systems removing garbage.
A) Change sentence 1 to: Cleaning up garbage in the ocean would be way better for the environment.
B) Change sentence 2 to: A company called the Ocean Cleanup Project has cleaned up a ton of ocean garbage.
C) Change sentence 4 to: The system consists of a big screen below it that catches the stuff.
D) Change sentence 5 to: Implementing several of these systems could remove garbage from the oceans.

User Yabin Ya
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1 Answer

6 votes

Final answer:

The most effective revision that improves the professional tone of the text is option D: Change sentence 5 to: Implementing several of these systems could remove garbage from the oceans.

Step-by-step explanation:

The most effective revision that improves the professional tone of the text is option D: Change sentence 5 to: Implementing several of these systems could remove garbage from the oceans. This revision removes the casual and informal language in the original sentence and replaces it with a more formal and professional tone. It also provides a clear and concise statement about the potential impact of implementing multiple systems to remove garbage from the oceans.

User DLauer
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7.9k points