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5 votes
Read the following text from a student essay. How can the writer best improve his or her organization?

In response to the rampant graffiti problem in our school, I am proposing one relatively straightforward solution. Each classroom should be assigned to one area of the school and given responsibility for its upkeep, from keeping it clear of litter to ensuring that the walls are unmarked. Students could earn points for each day that their assigned area is kept free of graffiti. These points would entitle students to special prizes or privileges at school. The amount of graffiti around the school lately is simply unacceptable. Property is being damaged, and the custodial staff spends far too much time cleaning up after delinquent students. If students take pride in our school and work together, we can keep it looking spotless and beautiful.

1. by moving the second sentence to the beginning
2. by adding a transition between the final two sentences
3. by describing the problem before moving on to the solution


Also, this question is from IXL R.7 Suggest appropriate revisions (7th grade)

2 Answers

6 votes

1.by describing the problem before moving on to the solution

2.by adding a transition between the final two sentences

3.by moving the second sentence to the beginning

User DEarTh
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3 votes
The answer is 3 because she stated the importance of keeping the school clean after she gave an idea on how to keep it clean
User Seventeen
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