Question

Would you hire me. please read example intern paper and give feedback

oct 3, 2017

shaddixxx roach
123 rocknroll
placeilive, Ab 12345
(123)-456-7890

Shane Evalt
hiring director
310 Washington Street
Atlanta, GA 30312

Dear Mr. Evalt

I noticed an intern ship position was available and would be very much obliged to offer myself as the taker. I believe I'm qualified and that I could really help you do what you do best.

Although, many have, I have been in gifted classes since elementary and was taught early on how to work computers inside and out.

I'm neat with my work, so if it's an organizing, planning, taking care of business intern you're seeking then in that case I'm very much qualified

I do not say much but when I do I'm sure to impress. My skills have been useful to me so I'm sure they will make your life a lot easier. I thank you for your time and I look forward to hopingly working for you.

always,
shadixxxx

Answer 1

this is well done but as said below a couple commas missing. but this looks great!

good luck :D

Answer 2

it appears that you are missing a comma or two with the interrupter in that case. Consider adding the comma(s).
I'm neat with my work, so if it's an organizing, planning, taking care of business intern you're seeking (then in that case) I'm very much qualified
(then, in that case,) I'm very much qualified
And it appears that internship is one word =)
Otherwise, besides the writing errors, I would totally hire you!