(Something I threw together awhile back for fun)
Standing in front of the mirror I rub my hand down my stomach and waist. "Why can't I be as perfect as them?" I whisper to myself as I toss the magazine onto my bed. I pull out a marker and a notebook from my drawer, I write down the measurements from the day. Not small enough, not tall enough, and not pretty enough.
I put everything back and walk to the kitchen. My mom looks at my tear swollen eyes, and motions for me to sit down. "Honey, what's wrong?" She asks softly.
"I'm not the person I wish to be," I tell her. Explaining in length of the jealousy I felt towards the supermodels, and the hate I felt for myself. My mom considers me for a minute and tells me to wait as she goes to get something from her room. She comes back with a little blue journal my sister once owned before her "accident."
"Read it and maybe it will give you peace," my mom says gently and leaves me be. I open it up and begin reading.
October 2nd. I'm still not where I want to be with everything. I will never be. Today I have to decided that since I will look the way I want, then I'll just never stay. Tonight I will pull the trigger as I have been wanting and let all the misery fade away. I love my family, but I cannot love myself. So why should I be here?
I stare at the page and come to a realization. Just because I am not perfect that doesn't mean it has to end. I go to my room and throw away the magazine and the notebook. "I do not need to fit a profile to be me, and to live my life." I look in the mirror and smile for the first time in a long time.