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READ AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK

there were two girls who loved paranormal things. they read every blog,book, and watched every video on ghosts and other paranormal creatures.
they came accross one particular picture that caught their eye.
it shows an old abandoned fair ground.
they look at the pictures and see that the rides are still there, but not safe to use they look closer at the picture and see a shadowy figure that seems to be a clown, except its translucent.
they see the address.
"hey thats where we live" one of the girls say "yeah it is we should go" the other says.
when they get to the fair ground they hear a faint laughing sound
"what was that" asked one of the girls.
"it was probably just wind hitting an old ride or something calm down"
they look at a fun house.
the paint is chiping and the wood is peeling.
"lets go in there"
they walk in and the lights flicker,the music starts up in a slow and eerie way.
they look around.
they see broken mirrors and and old decorations on the ground.
they look at one of the walls and see red handprints smeared all over the wall and red spots on the floor.
"i...is that b...blood"
"i dont know"
they brush it off as some kind of prank by teenagers.
they go farther into the fun house and see more handprints and spots.
"we should go..."
right as she said that they hear a voice
"why would you leave?"
they freeze.
they slowly walk backwards as a figure emmerges from the shadowy area into the flickering lights.
the light hits the figure and they see a clown.
half of his face looked smashed.
they stand motionless.
"dont you wanna play with the clown?"
they look at him as he steps closer to them they can see the flesh hanging off his face and the blood dripping from the wound.
"what happned to you" one of the girls force out.
he looks at her and frowns
"what happned?...."
she nods
he looks at her
he steps closer to them
they see his costume its covered in blood stains and it looks really old its black and white
the other girl starts to cry
"i was thrown under the ferris wheele"
they look back at the ferris wheel and see blood and rust
"when were you killed?"
"1804"
"216 years ago...."
the crying girl starts to tremble
"y...your chuckles"
the other girl joins in
"you were killed and they shut the carnival down 40 years ago because of paranormal activity"
he laughs
"b..because a kid fell under the ferris wheel"
"but he didnt fall did he?"
the clown puts his bloody glove covered finger over his mouth in a shush sign
he dissapers
the girls moved 1 week later

User R Zeal
by
4.6k points

2 Answers

5 votes
This was pretty good. There are some punctuation errors that you should fix, but other than that the piece was enjoyable.
User Abjennings
by
4.0k points
2 votes

Answer:

This was a creative piece of writing...did you create it? I think if you improved by correcting some punctuation and grammar, the story could be really good!!

Have a wonderful day :3

User Barth
by
4.0k points