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3 votes
I would like some opinions on my poetry and any criticism

Thanks
_let me know if you want to know the meaning behind these also__
Depth of darkness
_______________________________
For nothing is around me
I am isolated in darkness
As the fear surrounds me
I’m alone

I cannot see where once was light
I am in a hole of darkness and fear
The depth of the darkness is
Uncontrollable, Unbearable, Unstoppable...

Suddenly, the fear that once surrounded
Cracks, Crumbles, Breaks down...
As the brightness peers through
I see light

I climb to see the light
Trying to find the lost
Hoping that I will find joy
Then I see the light and know I’ve found the lost
Hope, Joy, Happiness
______________________________________
What lies below
For the sea is deep
And tide runs low
The wonder of the ocean below

If you may wonder what is below
Most people will never know
What truly is below

Even the deepest part of the ocean is
Still a wonder
That you may keep wondering


But will never find the truth
No matter the depth
No matter the darkness
There will not always be an answer to everything
Yet are you still wondering?

______________________________
Lost

I am lost
Not knowing where I am
Looking, searching, wondering
Where am I?

I cannot see
I am searching
For the lost

Hoping one day
I will remember
The happiness
I once had


It may come back
But it may be lost
The happiness I once felt is
Somewhere

User Asim Omer
by
6.1k points

1 Answer

3 votes

Answer:

I like your poems, I get what feeling and emotion is behind it, but I would say don't use the word darkness and light so much, switch up the words, maybe instead of "For nothing is around me" you can say something like "and all is lost, nothing to be seen for a never ending eternity, i feel as dark as the emptiness around me, i'm terrified and alone."

I really like your second poem. I wouldn't change anything.

For the third one, again I would be more descriptive, maybe go a little more in detail about some of the things you are expressing. I think you are talented, I really like your poems!

Step-by-step explanation:

User Sjharrison
by
5.7k points