Question

Do you think i did a good job with this essay(plz put your genuine thoughts ty) also could you give me an idea for the conclusion

(this is the prompt btw)
Were the Founding Fathers justified in rebelling against the British government and declaring independence?
In a well-developed essay that includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, explain whether or not the Founding Fathers were justified in declaring independence. Be sure to address counterclaims in your essay and include reasons and evidence to support your argument.

(this is the essay)
Imagine you are part of the colonies in 1765 the stamp act was just enacted. Your enraged so you go along with the constant chant of "Taxation without representation is tyranny". Then people start talking about freedom an Escape from Britain not long after the Revolutionary War is happening. Once 7 years passed the war is over.
declaring independence was justified especially after the Intolerable Acts. However the war may had been avoided if they just let them have their freedom in instead of having a war that lasted 7 years. yet the whole thing could have been avoided, if the British did not keep such a tight hold on the colonists, gave them representation in parliament, and gave them the birthrights they desperately wanted. A counterclaim may be that the war was justified and declaring independence was not. The British were the first ones to fire sparking the war therefor making it justified. may be considered Declaring independence was not justified given they could have stayed and then everything would have stayed the same.
however looking at the details you can see that declaring independence was very much justified particularly because they wanted to get away from the Intolerable Acts and the Boston Massacre and they had every right to. The war COULD have been avoided if they had just recognized american as independence it would have never happened.
in conclusion: ideaz

also ill give you 50 points just cause im nice :)

Answer 1

fix some of the spelling but that's all, i think you wrote a great essay!!

Step-by-step explanation:

Answer 2

Hi there!

edits:

Sentence 2 "your" to "you're"

Sentence 3" Then people... happening" should be "Soon, chants for representation turn to chants of complete separation! These chants lead to mass anarchy, with people declaring their right to be free from Britain"

Need to explain MORE about what the intolerable acts were, what they did to enrage the colonies, and why the colonies thought they were bad. The detail you gave was insufficient. Explain more!

Cut out the sentences on why it could have been avoided. Stick to the prompt is the MOST important part! Giving unneeded info makes the essays jumbled and confusing. Replace these paragraphs with explanation!

NEVER say "a counterclaim"!! Replace that with the format: "While some may say.... (counter argument here)... , in reality they are wrong because.... (your argument here). "

"May be" to "maybe"

Most important things to change

STOP GIVING INFO ON HOW IT COULD HAVE BEEN STOPPED!! That's not the prompt! Replace and remove ALL areas where you said that!

conclusion should be your opening paragraph points with minor evidence attached! restate your major points and evidence behind them

Hope this helps