Question

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Read the following paragraph that Elijah wrote about Lawton Allen, founder and president of Hope House, for his blog series “Inspirational Stories”:


More than 50 people have found jobs through this program. Mr. Allen was once homeless. You can take a career class there and get help with a job search. Hope House was founded in March 2014. Did you know that they will fit you for a suit so you can go to a job interview? The organization has nonprofit status, so most of the budget can be spent helping people. Hope House is a place to go when you are down on your luck.


How could Elijah improve his writing?

Answer 1

Elijah has too many ideas in his paragraph. With this single jam-packed paragraph, he’s provided too many details and no real focus. Elijah needs to decide what his most important idea is and place it prominently in his first paragraph. Then he should move the other ideas to the following paragraphs and provide details to support them.

Step-by-step explanation:

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Answer 2

Elijah has too many ideas in that paragraph. There are way too many details and there is no focus. He needs to decide what is the main focus is.

Step-by-step explanation: