Question

I need help for improving my creative writing i feel like my descriptions is a bit to vague

so like for example lets say im describing a mountain
what would i need to do to improve it (i just wrote it now with no planning btw)
a shadow loomed over me overwhelming my own. an eerie silence surrounds me as if a danger was near. snows swirling dancing across the ground escaping from the sudden terror beholding me. i slowly turn around to see a beast arisen from nowhere; its tip to be unseen. dark solemn clouds surround as if it was chained. captives to a king. my whole body shuddered and suddenly my head was in the biting snow. i couldnt stand up even the forces of gravity were acting against me. the cold was spreading throughout my body; my fingers numb.my brain screaming at me to stand up. snow was layering over me until there was no more to be covered. like a deceased gone to rest, i had buried my own grave.a moment before i was having fun with everyone and in a flash im about to die. suddenly, i feel a hand touch me. muffles of excitemnt all around me although faint was clear enough. "i found her she's here!"
That's all i remember until i my body finally gave to rest

Answer 1

Feedback:

I think your descriptions are great! I like the way you describe the setting and how it makes the observer feel with extreme detail. I was able to picture everything really well in my head. Moving forwards, I think what you should do is reassess what you're writing about. Maybe I misunderstood what you meant by "describing a moutain," but I feel that you spent too much time talking about the overall setting and how it made the observer feel instead of the actual mountain. I liked your description of the mountain being "a beast arisen from nowhere; its tip to be unseen" and I think you should continue this as you'll prevent yourself from drifting too far from the object of interest.