Question

I need help for improving my creative writing i feel like my descriptions is a bit to vague

so like for example lets say im describing a mountain
what would i need to do to improve it (i just wrote it now with no planning btw)
a shadow loomed over me overwhelming my own. an eerie silence surrounds me as if a danger was near. snows swirling dancing across the ground escaping from the sudden terror beholding me. i slowly turn around to see a beast arisen from nowhere; its tip to be unseen. dark solemn clouds surround as if it was chained. captives to a king. my whole body shuddered and suddenly my head was in the biting snow. i couldnt stand up even the forces of gravity were acting against me. the cold was spreading throughout my body; my fingers numb.my brain screaming at me to stand up. snow was layering over me until there was no more to be covered. like a deceased gone to rest, i had buried my own grave.a moment before i was having fun with everyone and in a flash im about to die. suddenly, i feel a hand touch me. muffles of excitemnt all around me although faint was clear enough. "i found her she's here!"
That's all i remember until i my body finally gave to rest

Answer 1

Rewrite :)

Step-by-step explanation:

A shadow loomed over me, interrupting my composure. An eerie silence surrounds me, a sense of danger drawing near. Snow swirls around me, caressing the ground in a quick flurry to escape the danger behind my silhouette. Ever so slowly, I turn around to see a beast arisen from the shadows; nothing but a grim smile to be made out in the darkness. Dark, solemn clouds envelope the form like chains surrounding a prisoner, captive to a king. My small form shuddered as I dropped to the ground in a hurry, gravity pushing me down as my legs were found to be numb. The cold embrace was spreading throughout my body; my fingers numb, my brain screaming at me to stand up, snow was layering over me until there was no more to be covered, like an influenza spreading through the decayed, I had gone to rest. I was buried in a grave dug just for me. Just as I had enjoyed the evening, I found myself on the brink of demise. Suddenly, a familiar touch of warmth greeted my stone cold body. Excitement was joined around me, the feeling of pure joy bringing me back into the world I was just about to leave, "I found her, she's just over here!"

That's all I could dig out of the foggy memory of that evening.