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(1) The house was dark and quiet. (2) It was the perfect time of day to snuggle up with a good book. (3) Just as I pulled a quilt

over my lap, I heard a loud thud from upstairs. (4) Thinking that I had left the window open, I decided to investigate. (5) My
mind wandered as I mounted the stairs. (6) What would I do if there were someone in the house? (7) My heart started to beat
faster. (8) Finally, I reached the top of the stairs. (9) I slowly opened the bedroom door.
Which of these BEST replaces sentence 7 with descriptive detail?

User Blimie
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1 Answer

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Final answer:

An enhanced version of sentence 7 could describe the physical sensation of a racing heartbeat and the emotional state of trepidation, to provide more depth and immersion.

Step-by-step explanation:

To replace sentence 7 with more descriptive detail, we might choose an option that dives deeper into the character's physical and emotional state, enriching the experience with sensory and evocative language. Here is an enhanced version: 'A surge of adrenaline sent my pulse racing, every heartbeat thundering in my ears like a drumroll, amplifying my trepidation as I contemplated the darkness that lay ahead.' This revision provides a vivid description of the character's increasing anxiety, creating a more immersive experience for the reader.

User Phisch
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