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17 votes
Is this good for my argumentative essay?

Is this good for my argumentative essay?-example-1
User Istao
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5.5k points

2 Answers

2 votes

Answer:

Here's some edits I would make:

1. There are kids all around the world that are interested in sports or that have a favorite athelete. Parents shouldn't allow kids to play these sports, though, as they could injury themselves.

2. Teenagers and children shouldn't participate in dangerous sports because they could get hurt.

3. Sports can wear the body down, create muscle imbalances, and multiple injuries.

4. Coaches don't give students enough time to practice. They need proper practicing to avoid injuries.

5. Let's say your daughter wanted to do cheerleading. It could be an extreme risk if you let her do it.

6. Cheerleaders are thrown up very high. Her teammates would have to catch her. There have been times where cheerleaders failed to catch their teammate, which caused dangerous injuries.

7. Even though kids enjoy dangerous sports, they should just stick to observing them. The injuries and damage aren't worth it.

Step-by-step explanation:

It's a great essay! I like your ideas and thesis.

User Jeff Holt
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5.3k points
6 votes
Answer:
Great for an argumentative essay
Step-by-step explanation:
In my opinion this is a great argumentative essay. You have your thesis, 3 bodies and your conclusion. You also have great resources and explanations. I think you did a wonderful job! Although I might switch the last two paragraphs because the third one seems more like a better ending... Thats what I think but other than that it is really good :)
User Toohool
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4.9k points