96.6k views
24 votes
Is this a good story started? dose it grab your attraction

and what more can i add


As I walk down the endless road to my house I just can't stop thinking about work. I keep going closer, it's bitter cold out with snow falling. There is a frozen shell surrounding the snow which makes a crunching noise as if breaking an egg shell. I keep walking, then I find the 10 story apartment which I live in. as I open the freezing door handle a sweep of fresh warm air thrusted past my body. Struggling, I closed the door behind me.

User Rmhartog
by
8.1k points

1 Answer

10 votes

Answer:

That opening paragraph is amazing and yes it really is captivating

Step-by-step explanation:

Just work on your punctuations and if need be, a little comic relief. I can boldly say this guy is suffering from some hardcore inner sadness but if that was your aim, then you are good to go

User Ri
by
8.8k points
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