133k views
3 votes
My Ark Encounter

The happiest day of my life was our tour of the ark encounter. We went on vacation to
the beautiful state of Kentucky for annual family vacation. It was the most amazing
experience we all have ever had. Our day started very humid and hot. We all got ready,
and had breakfast. And we where out the door by 10 in the morning
We arrived to Williamston Kentucky at about 11am so we we could purchase our tickets
and tour information. Upon arrival we where amazed at how big that ark really was, but
we where more shooken by the people their waiting in line. We found a parking spot as
soon as we could, but that was a one of the biggest struggles. So we decided i would get
off and wait in line, and my husband and kids would go find a parking spot and wait for
me to get closer to the ticket booth.
So after about an hour in line, it was time to start the adventure. We where all very
excited. We waited for the tour guide and bus to take us to the ark. When we finally got
to the ark. I was amazed and humbled at how small we are next to God's creations. I
could not help but to cry and thank God for his divine mercy on me. We finally went
inside and our mouths dropped to the floor in astonishment.
When we started walking around we noticed that it was 3 floors high. Everything was
made of gopher wood. Their was every type of animal that you could never imagine
excisted. There where scenes of Noa and his family on how they lived and how they
would cook. And how they would feed the animals and keep them calm in there cages.
We also interacted with a lot of animals that they had their. The kids where able to feed
lambs,alpacas, lamas and so many other animals. We started to get hungry, but the only
on site restuarant was full with a very long waiting line so we waited until we left back
home. We decided to take some family pictures next to the ark, and behind was a
beautiful mountain site where we all thought was the perfect scenery. Afterwards we
went to the gift shop and purchased gifts for our family members and ourselves. In
conclusion we had the most amazing day at the ark encounter and we hope to go back
one day and take other family members and share our '.​

My Ark Encounter The happiest day of my life was our tour of the ark encounter. We-example-1

2 Answers

5 votes

Italic and Bolded are corrected mistakes

Italic are the mistakes

You need to capitalize Ark Encounter in the first sentence.

For the second sentence you're missing the word, our.

For the sentence, "And we where out the door by 10 in the morning," you're missing a period at the end and it's were not where.

"We arrived to Williamston Kentucky at about 11am so we we could purchase our tickets and tour information." Change the to in the beginning to at. Also, remove one we.

"Upon arrival we where amazed at how big that ark really was, but we where more shooken by the people their waiting in line." Change where to were and that ark to the ark. Also change but we where more shooken by the people their waiting in line to but we were more in shock by how many people were waiting in line.

"We found a parking spot as soon as we could, but that was a one of the biggest struggles." Remove the word a in the part where it says "one of the biggest struggles."

"So we decided i would get off and wait in line, and my husband and kids would go find a parking spot and wait for me to get closer to the ticket booth." Add the word that after the word that. Capitalize I aswell.

"We where all very excited." Change where to were.

"When we finally got to the ark. I was amazed and humbled at how small we are next to God's creations." Change the period after the word ark to a comma. Remove humbled or change it to a synonym of amazed.

"Their was every type of animal that you could never imagine excisted." Change Their to There. Change excisted to existed.

"We also interacted with a lot of animals that they had their." Change their to there.

"The kids where able to feed lambs,alpacas, lamas and so many other animals." You need to spread out the words you type after a comma. Like this: lambs, alpacas, lamas. Also, lamas is spelled llamas.

"We started to get hungry, but the only on site restuarant was full with a very long waiting line so we waited until we left back home." Change the whole sentence to, We started to get hungry, but the only restaurant was full and had a long line, so we waited until we went home.

"Afterwards we went to the gift shop and purchased gifts for our family members and ourselves." Add a coma after Afterwards.

"In conclusion we had the most amazing day at the ark encounter and we hope to go back one day and take other family members and share our experience." Add a coma after In conclusion. Capitalize Ark Encounter.

User XDR
by
4.6k points
4 votes

BOLDED are mistakes.

Underlined and slanted is what you should do to fix the mistakes.

My Ark Encounter

The happiest day of my life was our tour of the ark encounter.

Change "ark encounter" to "Ark Encounter".

We went on vacation to the beautiful state of Kentucky for annual family vacation.

It was the most amazing experience we all have ever had.

Delete "all have ever"

Our day started very humid and hot.

We all got ready, and had breakfast.

Delete the comma.

And we where out the door by 10 in the morning.

Delete "And"

Capitalize "w"

Change "where" to were

Add a period to the end of the sentence.

We arrived to Williamston Kentucky at about 11am so we we could purchase our tickets and tour information.

Delete "we".

Upon arrival we where amazed at how big that ark really was, but we where more shooken by the people their waiting in line.

Change "where" to "were".

Change "where" to "were".

Change "more shooken" to "shocked".

We found a parking spot as soon as we could, but that was a one of the biggest struggles.

Delete "a".

Change "struggles" to "challenges".

So we decided i would get off and wait in line, and my husband and kids would go find a parking spot and wait for me to get closer to the ticket booth.

Capitalize "i".

Delete the comma.

So after about an hour in line, it was time to start the adventure.

Delete "So".

Capitalize "a".

We where all very excited.

Change "where" to were".

We waited for the tour guide and bus to take us to the ark.

When we finally got to the ark.

Change the period to a comma and combine with next sentence.

I was amazed and humbled at how small we are next to God's creations.

Delete "and humbled".

Delete "s".

I

could not help but to cry and thank God for his divine mercy on me.

Change "Icould" to "I could"

Delete "to".

Side note: Why thank God for divine mercy?

We finally went inside and our mouths dropped to the floor in astonishment.

Delete "in astonishment".

When we started walking around we noticed that it was 3 floors high.

Define "it".

Everything was made of gopher wood.

Their was every type of animal that you could never imagine excisted.

Change "Their" to "There"

Change "excisted" to "existed"

There where scenes of Noa and his family on how they lived and how they

would cook.

Change "where" to "were".

Change "Noa" to "Noah".

And how they would feed the animals and keep them calm in there cages.

Change "there" to "their".

We also interacted with a lot of animals that they had their.

This sentence doesn't make sense. Either change it or delete it.

The kids where able to feed lambs, alpacas, lamas and so many other animals.

Change "where" to "were".

Change "lamas" to "llamas".

We started to get hungry, but the only on site restuarant was full with a very long waiting line so we waited until we left back home.

Change "on site" to "on-site".

Change "restuarant" to "restaurant'.

We decided to take some family pictures next to the ark, and behind was a

beautiful mountain site where we all thought was the perfect scenery.

Delete the comma.

Change "where" to "which".

Afterwards, we went to the gift shop and purchased gifts for our family members and ourselves.

Add a comma where it is bolded and placed.

In conclusion, we had the most amazing day at the ark encounter and we hope to go back one day and take other family members and share our '.​

Add a comma where it is bolded and placed.

Change "ark encounter" to "Ark Encounter".

Change " '. " to "experience".

Notice I may have not purely edited your essay so there may be some more mistakes. These are just the grammar mistakes and fixing parts that don't make sense.

User Banzay
by
4.8k points