Objective: Clients will identify ways they and their partner demonstrate their commitment to each other and to the relationship.
Audience: This tool is applicable to clients in a couple relationship and who view their relationship as committed or who are considering making a major commitment (e.g., moving in together, getting married).
Estimated Time: 10-20 minutes
Educator Instructions: Review the instructions on the tool. Encourage your clients to reflect on each statement and discuss what they specifically do well
(e.g., what does that involve or look like?). Ask them to describe the areas they marked as “Things I would like to do better.” Challenge your clients to be specific in identifying how they would like to improve their expressions of commitment by sharing clear examples. Be sure to remind your clients that they should focus on what they individually do and can do.
Discussion Starter: It takes more than loving feelings to have a healthy relationship, it also requires commitment. Some of us are pretty good at showing commitment to our partners, but there are always some things we could do a little better. Also, partners sometimes have different opinions about what they consider “good” or “okay.” For this activity, I want you to focus on what you do and what you could do better, not what your partner could do better. In relationships, we each make individual choices that can either help or hurt the relationship. So, let’s focus on the choices you want to make.
Follow-up: In future conversations, ask how their actions and behaviors have changed. Are they showing commitment in the ways they indicated? How has this helped the relationship?