The paragraph is lacking a unifying thesis (Point), sufficient supporting evidence, clear transitions, and in-depth analysis. These elements are crucial for a cohesive and effective essay structure under the PIE (Point, Evidence, Analysis) framework.
According to the PIE structure for writing about theme, the paragraph in question is missing several critical elements that should be present. The PIE structure stands for Point, Evidence, and Analysis, representing a framework to construct well-developed body paragraphs within an essay. For an effective paragraph, there needs to be a clear Point that is directly tied to the thesis statement, which acts as the topic sentence for the paragraph. Then, Evidence must be provided, often in the form of quotations or paraphrased content from the primary source, along with any relevant secondary sources. Finally, an Analysis should follow the evidence, explaining how the evidence supports the point and ties back to the central thesis of the essay.
The paragraph in question lacks unity under a well-defined thesis, which means the point of the paragraph is unclear. This lack of a clear point makes it difficult to provide relevant evidence and analyze that evidence in relation to the thesis. Additionally, the paragraph lacks effective transitions between ideas, resulting in a text that feels disjointed. This affects the flow of the essay and the reader's ability to follow the argument. Lastly, without sufficient evidence and analysis, the readers do not gain a full understanding of the theme, motives, or diction of the literary work, leaving them with an incomplete picture and potentially unresolved questions regarding the text.