Question

Throughout most of this narrative, tension builds in the plot. However, the author fails to establish tension early in the story. Rewrite the bold section of this story so that there is tension at the outset of the narrative. HELP ASAP

Buzzzzz . . . Buzzzz . . . Buzzzz. "Mommy, Mommy! Your phone's ringing! Mommy!"

Suddenly, Shonda burst out of sleep. The buzzing was coming from her phone.

"Hand Mommy the phone, baby," said Shonda as she pushed herself up in bed. The simple act of sitting up was getting harder and harder as the baby in her belly grew bigger and bigger.

Answer 1

To infuse tension from the beginning of the story, the rewrite introduces a sense of foreboding and urgency through the persistent buzzing of the phone and reinforces the protagonist's vulnerability through her physical state.

Step-by-step explanation:

To introduce tension at the outset of the narrative, it’s important to create a feeling of urgency or concern. Here is a rewrite of the section provided:

Buzzzzz . . . Buzzzz . . . Buzzzz. The sound sliced through the silence of the night, persistent and urgent. Shonda, plagued by unrest even in her sleep, stirred with a sense of foreboding. The call at this ungodly hour could only herald trouble. As she reached for the vibrating phone, her movements were hampered by the growing weight of her unborn child, a constant reminder of her heightened vulnerability.

Answer 2

The tension has been added to the story at the onset (The bolded section).

Shonda was about to eat that special food delicacy when she heard a buzzing sound by someone shouting "Mummy, Mummy". She looked around her but didn't see anyone. She moving the spoon containing the food towards her mouth when she was jolted by "Mommy, Mommy! Your phone's ringing! Mommy!"

Suddenly, Shonda burst out of sleep. The buzzing was coming from her phone.

"Hand Mommy the phone, baby," said Shonda as she pushed herself up in bed. The simple act of sitting up was getting harder and harder as the baby in her belly grew bigger and bigger.

Step-by-step explanation: