73.1k views
18 votes
Read your email again. Can
you improve your writing?
Make
changes if necessary.

Read your email again. Can you improve your writing? Make changes if necessary.-example-1
User Themiurge
by
5.3k points

1 Answer

11 votes

Maybe try something like this:

"Hi,

My name is Sammy Morales, I'm from Colombia. I'm going to be your new roommate. I'm really excited about our new English language school, but I'm also feeling a bit nervous. Maybe you feel the same way?

I'm nineteen years old, and I'm from Fusagasugá, a town near Bogotá, Colombia. My family is quite big, I have five brothers and two sisters. Do you have any siblings?

I really love sports and music. My favorite music group is ____. What about you, what are your hobbies? What kind of music do you like to listen to? I would really like to learn more about you.

I look forward to meeting you next month.

All the best,

Sammy"

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Your email was pretty perfect, you sounded very friendly and sweet, but also very formal, maybe use some of this version to loosen it up a little bit? I believe in you, and I hope your meeting goes well! I hope this helps some :)

User Tomas Hanus
by
4.8k points