Question

Does anyone have an opinion on this: Autumn Friday nights, the time where the unlikely pair of music and sportsmanship collide, and amid it all, Drum Majors stand tall, leading the mighty Raider Brigade by both conducting and example. I have always dreamed to be in their position, and now, I am thankful to have the chance to make this dream a reality. I view the position of drum major as one of both honor and responsibility, and there are a multitude of reasons I would love to become a drum major for the Raider Brigade.

When I was younger, I used to beg my dad to take me to band concerts, so that I could pretend to direct along with the band conductor, and by second grade, I knew that I wanted to play flute. Within this year, I became sure in my dream to become a band director. To me, becoming a drum major would mean that I would get to live my dreams out years in advance, and although my young age may be seen as a disadvantage, it is, in reality, anything but.

As an upcoming sophomore, I still vividly remember the transition issues and growing pains that come with going from middle school to highschool, and because of this, I can give current, relevant advice. Through the 2019-2020 school year my section leader, Morgan, gave me private help and advice when I needed it, and without her, it would have been impossible to make it through the year, and as a drum major, I want to form those relationships with upcoming freshmen, to make sure they know they have a place before school begins, in the large, loving Raider Brigade.

The Raider Brigade in itself is a beautiful family that has united for the common goals of making music and performing a beautiful show for the crowd, and as a drum major, my only aspiration is to make this organization even better. I see amazing potential in every member, and the only way to improve is to ignite the passion of showmanship in each member , and that action begins with the drum major. A drum major is supposed to lead by example, so if the drum major is passionate, the band will be passionate. The raider brigade is hard work, but as drum major I intend to make everyone “Whistle while they work”. This will make the beautiful Raider Brigade reach its full, spectacular potential.


Overall, I want to be a drum major to accomplish my dreams, make connections with both the freshmen and every other member, and to make this wonderful band reach its full, amazing potential. Finally, I would like to thank you for this opportunity and your consideration, and I wish only the best for this band, which is why I am truly trying out.

Answer 1

that’s good !!!!!! yes nd yes nd yes

Answer 2

Hi! I didn't have time to look over the whole essay, but this is what I've got so far:

Step-by-step explanation:

Does anyone have an opinion on this: Autumn Friday nights, the time where the unlikely pair of music and sportsmanship collide, and amid it all, Drum Majors stand tall, leading the mighty Raider Brigade by both conducting and example. I have always dreamed to be in their position, and now, I am thankful to have the chance to make this dream a reality. I view the position of drum major as one of both honor and responsibility, and there are a multitude of reasons I would love to become a drum major for the Raider Brigade.

When I was younger, I used to beg my dad to take me to band concerts, so that I could pretend to direct along with the band conductor, and by second grade, I knew that I wanted to play flute. Within this year, I became sure in my dream to become a band director. To me, becoming a drum major would mean that I would get to live my dreams out years in advance, and although my young age may be seen as a disadvantage, it is, in reality, anything but. (This is excellent! Keep this here! :P)

As an upcoming sophomore, I still vividly remember the transition issues and growing pains that come with (Try "accompany" or a similar word.) going from middle school to high school, and because of this, I can give current, relevant advice. Through the 2019-2020 school year my section leader, Morgan, ( Throughout the 2019-2020 school year, I confided in my section leader who guided me and gave me advice when necessary.) gave me private help and advice when I needed it, and (omit) without her, it would have been impossible to make it through the year, and as a drum major, I want to form those relationships with upcoming freshmen, to make sure they know they have a place (ensure they feel welcomed) before school begins, in the large, loving Raider Brigade.

(The Drum Major/drum major thing is just a matter of capitalization, it should be easy to fix. :) You're doing a great job, and I think you deserve the title of Drum Major.)