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I just wrote this paragraph for this question (in the picture) so correct it if It has mistakes and you can improve it a little bit by adding more details. Thanks

2008 was a good year for me. I finished high school. A few months later, I applied for multiple jobs. Then I got a full time job. After that, had to move out and got my first apartment. 2013 is when I got married to the perfect person who I am with today. A year after, I got my first child and it was the greatest thing that ever happened to me.

I just wrote this paragraph for this question (in the picture) so correct it if It-example-1
User Samet DEDE
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1 Answer

6 votes

Answer: I read the text and it seems perfect and I think you don't need to add anything else.

Step-by-step explanation:

Analyzing the task and the way you responded it seems to me that you did it well. You were precise in each of the years. I think you should not add more since it would be a bit more extensive and the important thing about this task is to point out the most important events of each year. In my opinion, I wouldn't change anything, I think it's very good.

I could also see that you used the connectors that the statement showed. You have followed the instructions very well. Congratulations!

User Nostromo
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