Question

What is the BEST way to revise this sentence so that it conveys clear, concise ideas and does not change the meaning of the sentence?

Gwendolyn Brooks was shy, and she did not stand out in a crowd, yet she was a well-known American poet.
A) Brooks was a well-known American poet. She was very shy.

B) Gwendolyn was a shy person who did not stand out in a crowd.

C) Gwendolyn Brooks is one of my favorite American poets. She was shy as a young girl.

D) Gwendolyn Brooks, a shy woman who did not stand out in the crowd, was a well-known American poet.

Answer 1

D) Gwendolyn Brooks, a shy woman who did not stand out in the crowd, was a well-known American poet.

Step-by-step explanation:

This is the original sentence:

Gwendolyn Brooks was shy, and she did not stand out in a crowd, yet she was a well-known American poet.

This is A, revision one:

Brooks was a well-known American poet. She was very shy.

This is not a good edit, because it would cut of the fact that she didn´t stand out. The part about not standing out is necessary to fully empathize the author´s point.

This is B, revision two:

Gwendolyn was a shy person who did not stand out in a crowd.

This edit completely cuts out the fact that she was a well known poet, therefore, it cannot be the correct answer.

This is C, revision 3:

Gwendolyn Brooks is one of my favorite American poets. She was shy as a young girl.

While it says she was a poet, it takes away the meaning from the original sentence. It cannot be used.

This is D, revision 4, and our correct answer:

Gwendolyn Brooks, a shy woman who did not stand out in the crowd, was a well-known American poet.

This edit keeps the meaning of the original sentence, however, it allows the sentence to flow smoother.