145k views
2 votes
What is wrong with this sentence?

My body kept telling me to run, but my feet were stuck to the ground.

User Sajad
by
8.4k points

2 Answers

6 votes

Theres nothing to pull the reader in. Like theres nothing to grab there attention. Maybe you could do something like this: My body would't let move, i wanted to run, but it felt like i was stuck to the ground like someone buried my feet into the soft but heavy dirt

User Cory Charlton
by
7.6k points
5 votes
There are No mistakes!
User Brian Magnuson
by
8.6k points

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