Dear President,
I am but a humble turkey. I am a working man, and I have children to feed. I beg of you to pardon me, so that I may raise my sons to be your next feast. Take them, not me! My bones are old, and my flesh rots, but my sons-- maybe they are to your liking. But please- pardon me so that I might be able to save my daughter and my wife! Do not let the turkey species go extinct!
-Your favorite turkey, Turk.