Question

Why did I become the person I am? There are many events in a child's life that are crucial to developing the personality they will have but, for my childhood in particular there was one event that impacted me in a stronger sense than others. The passing of my great-grandmother was an event that made me start to become more withdrawn from others; we were close, I often went on and on about how we were going to go to England and be princesses together but, after her passing I stopped talking about going there and I forgot about becoming a princess. I held it together because everyone else was breaking down I didn't cry. I had a picture of her and me on my wall and sometimes I would talk to it as if it were her; doing so made me feel better.

can anyone help me revise this paragraph? My teacher wants me to revise it and I don't see anything wrong with it at the moment but this is the only paragraph I have not revised but the teacher said today's assignment is to revise anything you haven't already revised anyone wanna help me?

Answer 1

Title: Why did I become the person that I am?/

There are many events in a child's life that are crucial to developing their personality. I remember one event in particular, that has impacted my life in a major way. The passing of my great-grandmother was a time in my life when I began to withdraw from others. Her and I were very close. We used to make up stories of how we would travel to England, live in a castle, and live like a princess. After her passing, I did not talk about this anymore and I forgot all about becoming a princess. I remember that I did not cry at her passing. I have her picture on the wall and I often talk to her to make me feel better.

Step-by-step explanation:

Revised.