Question

The Human Resources department is happy to announce a career development workshop the workshop will be led by Joseph Pelletier. Joseph has 20 years of experience in career development training he will help you gain a clearer understanding of your career goals and will also discuss tools to work toward your career goals. The workshop will take place November 10 and 11 in the conference room nearest the parking lot on the third floor of the building. From 9:30 a.m. in the morning to 5:30 p.m. in the evening unless it goes longer or ends more quickly than expected. There will be coffee and tea in the morning, and then there will be lunch provided in the afternoon. Respond to this e-mail to sign up if you are interested in this career development workshop led by Joseph Pelletier. Because there are only 40 spots. How could you improve this message

Answer 1

The Human Resources Department's career development workshop notice can be improved for clarity. It should succinctly highlight the event specifics, including the facilitator's expertise, date, time, location, and the limited availability of spots. Additional resources for career enhancement should also be outlined.

Step-by-step explanation:

The Human Resources department invites you to a career development workshop led by the experienced Joseph Pelletier. This session is essential for those looking to refine their career goals and develop tools to achieve them. However, the announcement could be clearer.

Improved Message

The Human Resources Department is delighted to offer a career development workshop, facilitated by the esteemed Joseph Pelletier. With 20 years of experience in career development training, Mr. Pelletier is equipped to help you gain a clearer understanding of your career aspirations and discuss strategies to achieve them. The workshop is scheduled for November 10 and 11, from 9:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m., and may adjust slightly depending on the day's progress. It will be held in the conference room nearest the parking lot on the third floor. A light breakfast and lunch will be provided.

Due to limited seating, there are only 40 spots available. Please respond to this email to register.

Additional Resources and Support

If you need further assistance, consider making an appointment with the Career Development and Community Engagement office.

Personalized one-on-one career coaching sessions are available in Career Services. To schedule, visit Handshake.

Take advantage of employer-offered training, volunteer for special projects, and join committees to broaden your skills.

Consider available online tools for career assessments, interview preparation, and networking to further enhance your professional development.

To explore the facets of job success, including workplace culture and expectations, book an appointment for additional support and learning.

Answer 2

Correct run-on sentences

Reduce sentence lengths

Correct fragments

Step-by-step explanation:

The Human Resources department is happy to announce a career development workshop the workshop will be led by Joseph Pelletier. Joseph has 20 years of experience in career development training he will help you gain a clearer understanding of your career goals and will also discuss tools to work toward your career goals. The workshop will take place November 10 and 11 in the conference room nearest the parking lot on the third floor of the building. From 9:30 a.m. in the morning to 5:30 p.m. in the evening unless it goes longer or ends more quickly than expected. There will be coffee and tea in the morning, and then there will be lunch provided in the afternoon. Respond to this e-mail to sign up if you are interested in this career development workshop led by Joseph Pelletier. Because there are only 40 spots. How could you improve this message.

Correct run-on sentences.

Reduce sentence lengths.

Correct fragments.