I don't see the main point in your journal. you talk about a quote and then you relate to it. its good you may have side tracked a little too much though unless you were supposed to relate to it.
ok now grammar.
so add a comma after family so instead say "Violet is a 19 year old girl who had lost her only family a few year ago. She had lost her younger brother Timothy." I think adding a period adds more like feeling like period and then like it just hits you oh my god it was her younger brother you find out it was her younger brother you know what im saying? ok anyways you should also add a that in, "when you have made your decision means you believe" ill add a photo so you see what i mean, but add a "that" after decision.