Question

How can I make this paragraph better?

When I think of leadership and what it means to me I think about what a leader is. Leaders are people who strive for anything they never thought would be possible, they always want to push themselves to be the best they can. Too often people believe that leadership is about demanding and controlling people yet for me leadership is showing people a way to reach a destination they never imagined they themselves could reach. Being a leader you have to see a great example for everyone else to follow.

Answer 1

Hey! If the paragraph is not asking you a question, yet just a general one, eliminate uses of i and you. It makes it seem informal. Yet use, "People think" or "readers believe." Also, close out your paragraph with a transition word, such as "Therefore..... (conclusion sentence.)

If it is asking what do you think of when you see leadership, the paragraph is great, but still use transition words or even real life examples in the world, such as U.S. Presidents and their leadership, principals in your school, etc.

Hope this helps! :)

Step-by-step explanation: