Question

Please let me know if this sounds alright before I submit this, Please...

This is my Commemorative speech for my English class.

The name Ella, meaning “a beautiful fairy woman” or “light”, was an exact description of my best friend, Ella Schriner. She has helped me through all of my ups and downs, and all of my good and bad days. We both suffer from mental disorders, and we both have experienced trauma in our lifetime, but that does not stop us from being there for eachother. A good friend can have many definitions but mine, I believe, is precise. A good friend is always there for you even when other people are not, and they comfort you through all of the rough days. They laugh, they cry, they hurt with you...and that is what really matters. Personally, I have really bad anxiety and minor depression because of all of the trauma I have experienced in my life. My father had left my mother and I when I was just born, and I would never forgive him; But Ella has shown me that I do not need a bad influence in my life; and that if he will forget about me, then I shall forget about him. Ella showed me how to stop stressing over something that will never come back. She has taught me how to be a better person, and therefore she is not considered my friend….she is my family. Ella, oh Ella, I wish I could explain to you how much you mean to me but I just cannot find the right words because there are so many to describe you with; but all I would like to say to you is….”Thank You”.

Answer 1

I love how you describe how close Ella is to your heart, and how you expressed your feelings towards Ella. I also love how you effortlessly transitioned to the conclusion. I think it looks amazing so far! There are a few grammar errors that you could easily fix, but other than that, I think it's great! Personally, I think you could change the part where you said "They laugh, they cry, they hurt with you" because in my opinion, it isn't gramatically correct. I also wanted to point out that the quotes around the "Thank you" you put in the end is not placed properly, but you could easily fix that. I hope this helps! <3