Question

Please check out my book on Watt pad? The book is called Familiar but you can read my others. I'm still working on The Story Of A Shattered girl and Familiar. I will update regularly.

https://www.wattpad.com/user/haybear2283
Please don't report I just need feedback on my writing, Thank you

Answer 1

"Everyday starts with the same blaring sirens"

I think instead:

"Everyday starts with loud, blaring sirens, their sound a reminder of the society we live in. The same nurse comes in to give us the same three pills: lavender, blue, and yellow. All of them ugly, pale, and tasting of strange enough, life. I have no choice. My dying breath depends on these three "lifesavers", as the nurse calls them. I have no idea what they do, but I take my chances. "What could possibly go wrong?" I think to myself."

Please change the wording as this is my writing.

Happy learning!

--Applepi101