Final answer:
Adding sensory language to the passage enriches the narrative with realistic and immersive descriptions, allowing the reader to see and hear the characters' actions more vividly.
Step-by-step explanation:
The effect of adding sensory language in the second version of the passage is that it makes the passage more realistic because the reader can see and hear the characters' actions. Sensory details such as 'squealed', 'clapped his hands', 'running', and 'blond head bobbled' bring the story to life and allow readers to create a more vivid mental picture. These immersive descriptions use auditory and visual imagery to enrich the narrative, making Jaxon's excitement and the game of hide-and-seek more dynamic and engaging. By utilizing descriptions that engage the senses, the passage becomes a richer, more compelling reading experience.