Question

HELP WHY DOES MY THISIS SOUND SO CHOPPY (can u help me fix it? )

Here is my thesis


Mr. Lorry is a very loyal person. He escorted Dr.Mannet out of France, He helped Dr.Manette during his relapse and he helped his telsons bank customers escape out of France safely.

Answer 1

Mr. Lorry is a very loyal person. He escorted Dr. Mannet out of France, and he helped Dr. Manette during his relapse. Mr. Lorry also helped his telsons bank customers escape out of France safely.

That's a little bit better. I think you should elaborate on that last part a little more, but otherwise it was just a couple things.

Hope this helps, let me know if you have any other questions :)

Stay Cold,

Brook