Answer:
I'd proceed to order pipes from ebay as to replace said parts.
During the process I'd question why is there an army of beef-cake Mega-Men in my basement.
Since I'm a mad scientist I'd make some type of body armor that enhances durability, Thus allowing my warriors to remain standing tall while taking a few rounds of a some good ol' bullet lead.
I would also use BIO-Tech enhancing their skin durability to take the deepest of cuts. Muscle definition and power so my men could slap an Elephant to next week.
(Or atleast until the government find out about the absolute units in my basement and arrest me)