Question

Highlight the word or phrase that makes the thesis statement wordy.

This thesis statement is based on Disney's The Lion King.
The creators of The Lion King make the claim that their
script was inspired by Hamlet; however, the two stories have
little in common.
LION KING
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Answer 1

The phrase making the thesis statement wordy is 'make the claim that.' The revision for conciseness would be 'The creators of The Lion King were inspired by Hamlet; however, the two stories have little in common.'

Step-by-step explanation:

The word that makes the thesis statement wordy is "make the claim that." The revised thesis statement would be more concise as follows: "The creators of The Lion King were inspired by Hamlet; however, the two stories have little in common." By simplifying the phrase, the thesis becomes more direct and less wordy, helping to convey the intended argument more effectively.