Question

Generating Win-Win Solutions

Purpose: In any interpersonal conflict, you have a choice. You can look for solutions in which one person wins, usually you, and one person loses, usually the other person (win-lose solutions). Or you can look for solutions in which you and the other person both win (win-win solutions). Although, win-win solutions are obviously the more desirable, people often fail to even consider if there are possible win-win solutions and what these might be. This exercise will help you in developing conflict management skills and how to resolve interpersonal differences.
Directions: To get into the habit of looking for win-win solutions, consider the following conflict situations. For each situation, generate as many possible win-win solutions that you feel the individuals involved in the conflict could reasonably accept. Give yourself a few minutes for each case. Write down all win-win solutions that you think of; don't censor yourself. Please make sure to provide a response to the question at the end of the exercise.
1. Pat and Mark plan to take a two week vacation in August. Pat wants to go to the shore and relax by the water. Mark wants to go the mountains, hiking and camping.
2. Pat recently got a $3000 totally unexpected bonus. Pat wants to buy a new computer and printer to augment the office; Mark wants to take a much needed vacation.
3. Pat leaves clothes all around the house and they sometimes sit there for days. Mark really hates this and they argue about it almost daily.
4. Workers at the local bottling plant want a 20% raise to bring them into line with the salaries of similar workers at other plants. Management has repeatedly turned down their requests.
From this experience it should be clear that win-win solutions exist for most conflict situations but not necessarily all. And, of course, some situations will allow for the easy generation of a lot more win-win solutions than others. Not all conflicts are equal.
How might you incorporate win-win strategies into your own conflict management behavior?

Answer 1

1. If they really want to go together, Pat and Mark could make a one-week trip to the beach, and spend the second-week hiking in the mountains. They could also choose to go on separate trips, so each can spent the entire vacation in their desired destination. Or they could go together to one of those places and agree to let the other person choose the destination in a future trip.
2. Given that it´s Pat´s money, She should be able to decide, and Mark can enjoy the result of whatever she chooses. Pat could accept Mark´s choice by making sure he brings something to the table, like being in charge of organizing the vacation, and make it to a place Pat really would like to go. They could also split the money and make a small trip as well as buying either the computer or the printer, but not both.
3. Pat could try to change her behavior and use the opportunity to ask Mark to change something she dislikes about him. Or, they could just accept that Pat is just not an organized person, find something Mark is not good at as well. Let´s say, ironing his own clothes. They could agree that each of them will take charge of what the other person won´t do.
4. It´s difficult to find a win-win resolution to this case because workers have a legal right to assemble and fight for fair wages. Management could concede on a lower raise as long as they can offer some other perks, like providing food for their employers.

Step-by-step explanation:

Personally, win-win strategies help me understand that when resolving conflicts one must consider the other side´s needs and be willing to compromise. I usually become a little stubborn when in such a situation, focusing on how I´m right and others should accept that. Trying to come with win-win solutions will probably help me get better results and keep relationships healthy.