Hi there, can you just read this and rate it and tell my what you think of it. Its for a English competition.
I heavily pushed the wooden cinnamon colour door open as it screeched on the reeking dusty floor, leaving scraped marks. My blonde hair strands flowed around amid the unfocused lightened landscape, I tightened my toes to the grass, clenched my hair and brushed it out of my face, sighing ecstatically. I waved to my sister and ran off to collect wood. I looked around as animals cluttered around me, getting on with their daily routines. robins chirping, rabbits scurrying, squirrels squeaking and stealing acorns from oak trees, the hedgehog yields a yorn, buttercups, roses, lily pads, “OOOOWWWW ”. I fell...But.. before I helped myself get up, I stopped; My heart dropped to my stomach and my brain tingled as my body seared in anxiety. I felt something coiling around me. His hand reached out. His skin was black. Bleach black as if it was painted, his left eye blue and the other yellow. He pulled me up and asked if I was okay. “ I'm okay, thanks ''. He gave an amiable aura though he gave a diabolical feeling at the same time. “A snake”. He wore gold accessories, ripped black pants and tall. But I saw the exposed lacerated wounded maims that had stained him. He was about to leave but I got a strong grip of his hand. “what's your name? ”. He looked at me bluntly before answering “ kuzan.” The atmosphere got awkward fast especially when I'm still smiling at a statue, frozen to death. “What's up?,are you okay?, are you hurt? Do you need medicine??” he asked. “No, but where are you going?” “Home”. Home? I thought it was only me and Kiji that was living here… “ummm, would you like to come with me?”
I stepped on a blanket formed from velvet blossom petals, which blanketed the sandy ground; a thin branch of blossoms lingering on the tip of my rosie nose, the pink tip bleeding towards the centre to the white. I got disturbed by a noisy crowd. A boy was fighting a tiger but he didn't seem to be doing much, rather just standing there, his boney feet clenched to the ground, indigo black swollen bruises, blood slithering down the side of his face, but he had a menacing expression. The tiger recedes back and forcefully jumps on his petite peachy body, and his body hammers to the ground. Slowly. I wondered why the situation was unattended, inexplicabley, the rare tiger glanced at Kuzan with his tyrannical, malice eyes. “I heard that dense supervisor secretly connived the kid and gave consent to fight the tiger!”. They're gonna make an example of the kid!”. There was another body laying beside him. Blood
Thankyou>"< i lob u!!