229k views
1 vote
Another Poem:

Please just put your thoughts and opinions about it that's all.



My first and foremost:

I could sit here all day thinking about it

We could argue that it’s just in my head

You can say it won’t last because nothing really does

But would I be wrong to say I want it to last?

That I want this joy to last forever?

To want to sit here peacefully instead of worrying about life?

About the challenges I have to face in the morning?

Or can I let my mind wander for a bit tonight thinking?

Thinking about his smile

His obnoxious laugh

How nice it was when he was around?

Is it bad that I hold onto the nice memories even though he hurt me?

Why can’t I just be happy?

Why can’t I just remember the happy moments

Instead of how he left.
~MJA

User Jhamman
by
4.8k points

2 Answers

3 votes

This is a pretty good poem and has a beautiful meaning of your heart wanting to let go of the one who left you. I feel like you should add metaphorical phrases that can give this poem a figurative touch. Moreover, you can also use some synonyms for words that are not exactly matching the vibe around here. Other than that, this poem is uniquely composed and I liked the essence of the thoughts of your heart and mind in this poem.

User Wcampbell
by
4.5k points
2 votes

Bro please put the rhyming words after each sentence it looks incomplete

User Cumhur
by
4.7k points