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Read the sentence.

I told them how surprised and excited I was to have my painting selected, especially since I’d felt so incompetent at the beginning and I knew the competition was so ruthless.

Which revision best uses dialogue to improve the sentence?

“Yup, it was a big surprise,” I told them. “I’m excited that my painting was selected! Especially since I felt so incompetent at the beginning and the competition was so ruthless.”
“Honestly, I was surprised,” I told them truthfully. “The competition was ruthless, and I felt incompetent at the beginning. It’s really exciting to have my painting selected!”
“I’m in! My painting is in! I feel a fist pump and a little dance coming on,” I said, grinning. I thought about how I felt so incompetent at the beginning because of the ruthless competition.
“Did you hear?” I asked them. “My painting got selected! Exciting, right?” I smiled. “Especially given that I felt so incompetent at the beginning and that the competition was ruthles

User Icycandy
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1 Answer

2 votes

Answer:

I think the best dialogue is: “I’m in! My painting is in! I feel a fist pump and a little dance coming on,” I said, grinning. I thought about how I felt so incompetent at the beginning because of the ruthless competition.

User Hans De Jong
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4.4k points