Question

Hi can someone plss help me checking my essay? I just wanted to know if it flows good and if Im giving a good explanation. (which I put 2 images of the question and the topic) (If there is something wrong or if I need to add please tell me!)

Answer 1

Flows very well just around the end of certain paragraphs there is some un-needed words

Answer 2

This does flow well but at the end of your first paragraph, I would remove lets find out because I really don't think it offers much than just "fluff".