Question

Read the following passage, which is lacking in vivid description, imagery, and dialogue. Rewrite the passage to include description and dialogue in a way that helps convey a nervous tone.

Passage

My brother Felipe and I walked up to the abandoned house at the end of the street. Felipe opened the gate, and we walked forward. We walked all the way up to the door and knocked, but no one answered. I leaned over the railing and looked in the window, and it was pretty empty in there. Then there was a noise inside the house, and we left.

Answer 1

My brother Felipe and I walked up to the abandoned house at the end of the street. We was both shaking and filled with fear. Felipe opens the gates slowly and we walked forward. Both of us wasn't ready to go into the abandoned house. We both new it was creepy enough to make us cry. We walked all the way up to the door and knocked, but no one answered. We tried to open the door but it was locked. I leaned over the railing and looked in the window, and it was pretty empty in there. I could only see a table and some empty bowls on it, assuming it was a kitchen. Then there was a noise inside the house, sending a chill down both of our sounds. It sounded like screaming. Finally, we turned and left, looking behind us to make sure we wasn't followed home.

Step-by-step explanation: