355,440 views
7 votes
7 votes
What is wrong with this sentence?

My body kept telling me to run, but my feet were stuck to the ground.

User Nimey Sara Thomas
by
2.9k points

2 Answers

18 votes
18 votes

Theres nothing to pull the reader in. Like theres nothing to grab there attention. Maybe you could do something like this: My body would't let move, i wanted to run, but it felt like i was stuck to the ground like someone buried my feet into the soft but heavy dirt

User Peilonrayz
by
3.1k points
16 votes
16 votes
There are No mistakes!
User Jason Fingar
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3.1k points