107,087 views
37 votes
37 votes
IS this a good introduction?

Yes or no?

Here is the prompt...
Based on your research, identify and analyze a human rights issue in your novel and show how it relates to real-life issues and affects people within the United States and one other country.

Here is my answer...
Did you know that an estimated 48,000 children who try to immigrate to the United States from both Central America and Mexico enter illegally each year do not have a parent with them? According to counselors, most make the long and dangerous journey to see their mothers. Most adults come for one reason; escaping a terrible life and getting a job in America to provide for their families. This affects multiple countries, groups of people, and poses a threat to basic human rights.
Will give brainlesst to BEST answer!

User Damien Debin
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1 Answer

11 votes
11 votes
It’s not bad, I would however suggest that you’d change the first sentence. From experience in writing essays, questions as your hook sentence can be better. I would suggest you rephrase the sentence to “Every year, an estimated 48,000 children who try to immigrate to the United States from both Central America and Mexico and enter illegally are not accompanied by a parent.” I hope this helps! :)
User Richard Levasseur
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3.8k points